I've had this post saved in my drafts for sometime. I've been hesitant about posting it and now I finally decided I should post it. Just to clear the air, I know there was some questions and confusion. I DID have a miscarriage a few months ago. I was to be due in January. I was 10 weeks when I went to the doctor and they did a routine ultrasound (which I'm greatful) to see how things were. Things didn't look good. The fetus was only 6 weeks and had no heart beat. The doctor handed me a prescription to have blood work at the hospital and sent me out the side door. I can't even describe the experience. First shock, then almost stupidity or rejection to be sent out the "side" door. I felt as though I didn't pass some test. I found out they do that so I wouldn't have to see all the pregnant people and feel bad - or so no one would look at me if I were to be emotional. Still, I felt horrible. I got into my car and I was still shocked. I didn't know what to think exactly. So I called my mom. I didn't know if she would answer because she was on a mission and got horrible service. She did answer and the flood gates opened. I couldn't even talk. My mom had been through 5 miscarriages and understood. I felt as though I had a rug pulled out from under me, or like I had just been robbed. I went to the hospital 4 days in a row for blood work. My arms were completely black and blue thanks to some Russian lady that didn't seem to know what she was doing. The following week I had another ultrasound. The hope I had left was shattered when they told me that the pregnancy wasn't viable. They said 1 in every 5 pregancies are miscarriages. Of course, you never think it's YOU. The following day I had a DNC. Through that emotional roller coaster I could not have made it without my Savior. I had prayed and cried like never before - but when I would pray, I experienced the most overwhelming calming peace and assurity that everything was going to be ok. It is an experience that I would wish on nobody. It is difficult to describe losing a baby that you thought was coming to you. We are now expecting another child in May and everything thankfully looks good. I just want to thank all the friends and family that were so supportive and there for me through my challenging time.
10 comments:
oh gina, i love you! i'll put your name in the temple here.
krm
Gina, it is so sad to hear when people go through this, especially those close to you. We are so glad you are strong and were able to have the strength of the Savior and your family. We love you and are so happy for you to be pregnant again!
Gina, the lady was Romanian and I think both of us should complain to get that woman fired!! She is someone you would see in a movie flapping her gloves with a huge needle and a wicked smile! Hopefully you don't have to go to her anymore for anytype of blood work~ I am excited for you
I am so excited for you! YAY! So glad all is well!!! I have 2 May babies and LOVED that time of year to bring a new baby home!
I miscarried to (as you know) with my first and yes...it is probably the worst experience I have ever had. It shocking how common it is...still it's awful. At least you made it through and have a healthy little "hardy" in there now! hehe
I love you! I am here and let me know if you ever need to chat!!! Miss you!!! Are you coming down at all for the holidays?? We should do a party with Summer,Jessie and us!!! That would be fun to see all of our babies together!!
I am so sorry that I didn't know all of this while it was going on. I would have brought you dinner or something, like that would have helped, but I feel sorry that you had to go through all of that. Please let me know if there is anything I can ever do for you. You're the sweetest person ever and I am so happy to have met you. Ya know when you meet someone new and you just click with them? That's what I think about you, lets be friends for a long time! :)
I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through this. I'm excited to see that another baby is on it's way even though that doesn't replace wanting what was already lost.
On a side note...I've always hated the term "miscarriage". It's as if losing the baby was as simple as holding it incorrectly. Who came up with that word!? I can't think of a better word though so that's what keeps getting used.
Gina, we love you guys! I am sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine...I am grateful for Eternal Families. and we are super excited for our new neice or nephew!
Gina, I lost a baby myself and to this day I still feel the sting sometimes. I have always wanted to be a mother and nothing else and it was the most heartbreking thing for me to lose my first baby. But I also have never felt the presence of my Heavenly Father so strongly. So, thank you for sharing your experience. It is a comfort to hear that other people have felt the same way I did. And I love that you could find a way to honor that special little angel of yours. I hope all goes well for you with this next pregnancy. You and your family will be in my prayers.
Gina thank you for sharing that. I remember Jamee telling me & I felt so badly for you & Corey. Sounds like all is going well this round & that cute little Mason will have a sibling to pal around with. And more little cousins for my nephew Stetson isn't bad either!! haha! Congratulations!!
I’m not sure if you remember me, I attended church with you in NJ. Rob and I were in Germany for part of that time and relocated to the greater D.C. area shortly after we returned… Anyway, I found your blog from Katherine’s blog and ran across this post. I’m so sorry you had to endure this trial, I know how difficult the loss of a baby can be. I think one of the most difficult parts of having a miscarriage is not having anyone to talk too. I’m thankful that you had your Mom and that you were able to feel the comfort and love of the Savior. And, I’m so happy that you’re pregnant again! Best wishes to you and your family. (Also, your little man, Mason, is adorable!)
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